Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Slut Wife

Submission... I have been called a submissive wife.   Okay, I call myself that too.  But submission is not what I am feeling at all during this long hot summer.  I am not deriving pleasure from serving.  From being obedient to his words or direction.  That is not how we have ever ticked.

And the more we go that way, the less either of us seems to feel comfortable.

I am deriving pleasure from kneeling, and from spanking and from foot rubs and from dressing as I am directed.  But this pleasure is not because I am submitting to him.

This pleasure is because he is tarting me up.  He is bringing out my slut.

And I like being a slut.  With H, I need to be that.  It is possible to be slutty with only one other person.

When I kneel, it is because I might get to suck.  When I dress, it is because I might drive him wild.  And when I am spanked, it is because I am a good girl who has earned the right to get that which I love.  Because I get to be me.  My inhibitions have been overridden.  My sexuality has been released.

I am talking about using my body and actions to drive my man wild.  And he is directing me on how to do that by letting me know what I should wear and how I should ask.

This is power.  And the more I get, the more I want.

We all know that when I get a bit of pain, I get a little bit hornier and a whole lot hotter.  My orgasms become explosive.  So do his.

But these feelings, this pain - it is a drug, one that must be fed and intensified, or it loses its effect.  And the drop-off can be emotionally brutal.

So, when we get to that point, which we have before, we usually stop for a while and then start over.  I would like to not do that this time.

I love the quiet moments and the cuddling and the connection and yes, the softness that comes with all of that.  I love it because I love H.

But I want him to continue being the slut trainer.  Which could be another word for dominant, but somehow... I don't think so.

So yeah, there's that.  I have known all of this for a while, but I wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up.

25 comments:

  1. Part of this journey is finding out what works for ou- and I think ou are soon just that. Go with it for a while. Don't worry about the label - embrasse what's working and leave the rest behind- there should be any rules except for what ever you and H find that works for the both of you.

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    1. Thank you Mrs. Soft Bottom, I have to say, that my me changes all the time. I need the change though - but it does make it hard for H to keep up sometimes. Ha.

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  2. Well and now that you have brought it up, do you know how you feel about it?
    I always like the word submissive more than slut, but that is just me. I never knew I was submissive until I brought up this dynamic to DH and asked him if he thought this sounded like something for me, and he said that I am naturally submissive.

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    1. I actually felt pretty gleeful. I really do resonate with the sexual part of it... and not so much the submitting part... they are intertwined in some ways, but when it comes out of the bedroom, well, I am not a fan.

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  3. I agree with Mrs SoftBottom, rather than be caught up with what labels fit go with how it makes you both feel and if that resonates more with being a slut then nothing wrong with that.

    Enjoy thats the important thing.

    x

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    1. Another friend used the word bottom - which I get. Slut is my word for botoom..

      but yes, I am aware of words being important.

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  4. Agree with above comments. Enjoy what works for you.

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  5. Each and every couple has to find their own, special, unique way, which often isn't easy to find. Labels like "submissive" may indicate a general direction, but nothing more.
    If you would like to explore the "slut path" a little more and your husband likes that, too, just go ahead. You may find that "slut" isn't the right word for it, either. That's why so many call it "TTWD"...

    I don't know how to call our path, either. René certainly isn't the "typical" male submissive. But yes, he, too, is a little slutty.
    And what am I? An egalitarian, kinky, slightly sadistic vanilla woman??
    BTW, what is the counterpart to a slut?

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    1. TTWD is a handy definition, but I can't seem to help myself from trying to define it more.

      I don't know what the counterpart to slut is? Pimp or gigilo?

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  6. Well, everyone beat me to it....labels are not important. What feels right to the two of you, what brings you closer, what gives you pleasure...that is important! We are all different and are traveling our own journeys of exploration...
    hugs abby

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  7. Labels are labels. Ancient people didn't have a word for blue. "Across all cultures, words for colors appear in stages. And blue always comes last."

    Isn't that interesting? The sky there, all around, and no word for blue.

    Slut may be the label you're after... or it might just be the closest. Whatever makes you guys happy, go with that. :)

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    1. That is totally interesting. Why does blue come first?

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    2. Last. Sorry - I got distracted in that little bit of a comment. :)

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  8. As others have said, does it matter what you chose to call it? Also does it matter if from time to time things change? I happen to like being a slut too. :)

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    1. I think it does matter - but that is only because of the response - very measured. It is interesting.

      I don't necessarily think there are many who would be willing to call themselves this, but I think we do like to feel our whole sexuality from time to time.

      Oh, and yes, things will change again soon I imagine - that is why they call it a dynamic.

      Yay for sluttiness!

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  9. I've decided Cael would love your blog! He's been wanting me to be a slut for a while now, but I haven't quite gotten used to that idea. I will say, ttwd has made me "sluttier" than I used to be, now the next step is just admitting it. Oh wait, I just did! I'm glad you found something that you like so much, and I think H must be very pleased.

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    1. You did admit it! I saw it! Don't think of it as slut if the word bothers you, think of it as inhibitionally challenged. :)

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  10. Like others have said, its all what works for you and perspective...funny though, a lot of what you described in this post are those things that can at times, make me "feel submission" (for lack of better phrasing)...labels have never really been helpful :o)

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    1. Yay! That is what I was trying to explore a bit - that all the same stuff could be used with different results, but it got lost in the verbiage, I guess.

      Labels are helpful, I mean, we each have a name right? But it is when you run into someone who is already set on what that name or label means that it gets a bit crazy, and so not helpful.

      But I still like them.

      Delete

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